Life Conversations

 Sometime when you have a conversation like I had today with my boyfriend Seth, it is just best to get it down on paper! So I'm gonna tell y'all about it!

So today I went to Seth's house to hang out with him for the first time in a week because I have been working my life away! I worked 6 days straight! The day started off alright! I just kinda relaxed while he finished up his schoolwork because he is taking a summer class in order to fulfill his minor for Architecture!
Anyways, we were having a lovely time when we started talking about the future and our plans and how they may not work out the way we have planned! Unfortunately he said something to the affect of "..... we are going to have to see if this works out and that's why I'm waiting....." Well of course that upset me very much because I thought that he was saying that he didn't want to be with me and that he was ready to end it and honestly it broke my heart just thinking about it! I grabbed my stuff and told him that I wanted to go home! He said, "Ok!" and then realized what I was doing and that I was upset so he tried to stop me from leaving. Unfortunately, I am very stubborn and was already moving towards the door before he could stop me! I got out to my car and I really broke down! I couldn't have actually driven anywhere for quite some time and out comes Seth to talk to me! He comes around to the passenger's side and knocks on the window but I'm sobbing and can't find my voice then he comes around to my driver's side and knocks on the window! I muster up enough strength to say that the door is open. He asks me a few questions like what is wrong? and I take my ring off that he gave me for our year anniversary and give it to him and tell him that he has broken my heart but that is all I can say because I am still sobbing. He asks if he can get in the car with me and I say yes. For a while we just sit in silence and I cry because I think that he is pretty much saying that he isn't sure that this is going to work out and I just don't know if I can hear that! Once I calm down, he begins to talk and I tell him that he just broke my heart by telling me pretty much that he doesn't want me anymore and doesn't know if our relationship will work out! He goes on to say that he has doubts but not about whether or not we will work out but whether or not we will be able to do things in the time frame that we hoped to! He apologizes for hurting me so and tells me that he always wants me and that maybe his words did not come out the way they should have! And he says that I have doubts too! I say no, not this he loves me. I doubted that he wants to be with me because he has not been telling me lately that he loves me and wants to be with me! I explain to him and he finally understands that even though I know that he loves me and wants only me, I still need to hear it! I need to know that he does feel that way and be confirmed since he almost told me that he didn't want me anymore.
All in all, we came to the understanding that we both need to be more honest with one another and understand that things may not work out the way we want them to but we still want each other!

So I think that covers everything! Thanks for listening guys! I just needed to get that down on paper!